one-after-nineonine:

i did a push up why am i still fat

babyferaligator:

*steals ur girl* *mom finds out and makes me return her and apologize*

wienrs:

if you’re reading this i’m beautiful

lovesexdevotion:

That was so beautiful

gacob:

they were right. guns don’t kill people. people kill people. people are now illegal and the crime rate is zero

ridge:

i hate it when people call me funny because I feel like I have to say something really funny again and I just can’t handle that pressure

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

algebra is like a 4n language to me

meladoodle:

ladies laaaaadies, theres plenty of me to go around *detaches arm* thats for you Brenda

jimsturgess:

today someone passed me a paper and i said “thank” and they said “did you just say thank” and then i realized dorothy we’re not on the internet anymore